Stay with me here. The set up is a bit tedious but I have to explain that to get to the funny bit. Promise!

A certain telephone company has given us more than a bit of a laugh of late. We were with them for over ten years, 2 land lines, cell phone and internet but finally enough was enough. The internet high speed never materialised in spite of repeated promises. One land line packed up altogether and the other one got more and more crackly. So last October when Alan got to the end of his Blackberry contract we researched and decided to move everything over to Telus. We ditched the land lines altogether, bought a couple of new Blackberries and signed up for an internet stick which is closer to high speed than anything we ever got before. Stay with me, it will get better.

So what is the issue? Trying to inform the first company that we were not renewing and cancel the land lines is like trying to get pee out of a swimming pool. An hour on the phone last October to cancel the land lines. They tried to talk us out of it. Then called and told us we must call back to confirm. We did. Another 40 minutes on the phone. Yes we definitely want to cancel. Yes we know you will still bill us for another month. They cut the phone off the next day. So we were billed a month for nothing. OK whatever, it was worth it to get rid of them. We spent another hour we will never get back on the phone to cancel the cell phone. Again told we would have to pay for another month while they cut the service immediately. EVEN THOUGH the contract had expired. But OK, we paid for a month of nothing, it was worth it to get rid of them. Almost done with the tedious bit, promise.

Until we got a bill the next month for the full usual amount. Alan called and a guy at the other end, located in another country, said ‘Tough, you have to pay it and you will be billed again next month.’ Alan held his ground and asked to speak to a supervisor, got transferred to Canada, and eventually the supervisor reviewed the issue, agreed that the account had not been closed properly and that we owed nothing. She said we would get a revised bill showing the amount due as zero.

We got that final bill showing a zero final balance over a month ago so we figured we were done with them at last.

Until this week. We got the following bill.

Your Bill
Previous Balance 0.00
Payment – Thank You 0.00
Balance Forward 0.00
Late Payment Fee Regulated 0.07
Late Payment Unregulated 0.73
Your Bellisimo Services 0.00
Account Charges or Credits 0.80cr
Amount Due 0.00

I love it! It has to have cost them at least a couple of bucks to send this. Do you think they wonder where their profits are going? I reckon the chances of them reading this are slim to none so I am pretty sure we will get another one next month.